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    cooking while drunk..hic.

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    myke
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    cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by myke on Sat May 10, 2008 11:29 pm

    this is for the over 18's only... ( i had to say that for the legal eagles ) lol! now fly away you buzzards..........
    i'm havin fun.............. drunken
    .
    first...... rite !!!!! whats first again ? scratch
    oh aye.....
    Remember: when cooking, the most important thing is hygiene. So before you begin, stumble into the bathroom. Then pick up a bar of soap and stare at it for about thirty seconds while rocking backwards and forwards. Try to remember why the heck you are in your bathroom anyway. then Leave bathroom.
    .
    You now need to find the kitchen. Think hard, you must have left it around here somewhere. Stumble in its general direction, placing your hand against the wall. This will help support you and maybe if you're lucky you'll find a lightswitch as well. Light could help at this point. If things are rotating, try rotating in the opposite direction to make them stay still. After entering the kitchen, turn on the light and stare blankly. After a minute or two, realize that this is not the kitchen, unless you recently put a bed in the middle of your kitchen.
    Keep stumbling from room to room until you find the kitchen. drunken
    .
    Open the packet of macaroni n cheese. Realize that its actually a box of laundry detergent. Open every cupboard in an attempt to find the Macaroni and cheese. Great. You're out of Mac 'n' Cheese. You found some pasta. That might work. Put the whole bag into a microwavable bowl that looks like it might fit all that pasta. Damn. It didn't fit all the pasta. Put water into the bowl and put it in the microwave for, oh, say about 40 minutes. The microwave is a better bet than the oven. At least if you pass out in front of the microwave you won't burn the house down. Open the microwave after 30 seconds just to check if it's done yet. Repeat every 20-40 seconds as necessary. 40 minutes? That's way too much time, you realize when the timer gets to 35 minutes remaining. Better just take it out now. Add some parmesan cheese to the microwave bowl. You forgot to take the water out. Oh, well. It happens. Now you just have to eat it. It's crunchy and salty and makes your stomach feel bad, but at least you won't be hungry anymore. For enhanced flavor, use ketchup as a marinara sauce subsitute. Suspect
    .
    Get some bread. Uh-oh, someone bought unsliced bread. Try to find bread knife. Fail. Find electric carving knife. Wrap knife in tea towel to muffle it. Cut two rough slices of bread, approx 2mm thick at one end, four centimeters at the other. Put bread in toaster. Try harder. Sh*t. Well maybe if you put the thin end in first. Yeah, that did it.

    While the bread is toasting, get some cheese from the fridge. damm. None there. Never mind, there's that soy cheese that your mate brought along to the picnic that time, but no one ate it. Find cheese knife. Well, just use the foil-cutter on your bottle-opener. you smell burning, so the toast must be done.

    Place unevenly burnt toast on grille, then place cheese on top. Melt cheese. Drop grill on floor, waking everyone else up. Suffer consequences. Sad
    Don't worry if you are eating that toast and your mouth is burning. That's normal.
    scratch


    Last edited by Jamez on Tue May 13, 2008 1:48 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : spelling)
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    Bretteo
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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by Bretteo on Sat May 10, 2008 11:43 pm

    "waking everyone else up. Suffer consequences."


    Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

    nice post mikey-d keep them coming
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    myke
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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by myke on Sat May 10, 2008 11:49 pm

    lol! brett knows the feeling... ( brett ---> one more vodka n coke then its food time.).
    Very Happy
    ps.. for the legal eagles... mr. g. does not drink alchohol.. no.. no way.
    pssst!!! brett... think they'l go for that one ?
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    Bretteo
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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by Bretteo on Sat May 10, 2008 11:54 pm

    ......never know these 'legal eagles' are not the smartest' Laughing
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    myke
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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by myke on Sun May 11, 2008 12:03 am

    * blames it all on brett as a lawyer joins the forum * Laughing Laughing
    hello mr lawyer sir, nice to see you... <------- me being a crawler lol!
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    Bretteo
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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by Bretteo on Sun May 11, 2008 12:07 am

    Laughing

    Zohair
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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by Zohair on Mon May 12, 2008 11:41 pm

    lol
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    myke
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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by myke on Tue May 13, 2008 8:48 am

    wow, a smiley and a lol, i must be loosing my touch..........
    damm, i gotta try harder now...... Razz
    and.. * drum roll * look -----> 101 posts...bring on the dalmations.
    Rolling Eyes

    Jamez
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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by Jamez on Tue May 13, 2008 1:48 pm

    keep it up mikey d cheers
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    DeTekT
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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by DeTekT on Tue May 13, 2008 8:08 pm

    rofl mike ownz
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    Bretteo
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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by Bretteo on Tue May 13, 2008 8:22 pm

    Yeh of corse he does Laughing ( not sarcasm )

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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by Hybrid on Tue May 13, 2008 9:00 pm

    Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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    DeTekT
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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by DeTekT on Wed May 14, 2008 6:36 pm

    hehe

    Lone_wolf_1987
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    Re: cooking while drunk..hic.

    Post by Lone_wolf_1987 on Wed May 14, 2008 6:49 pm

    Bretteo wrote:Yeh of corse he does Laughing ( not sarcasm )


    Haha yeh corse not Wink

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