Konnect, Welcome To The Konnect Community


    create your own forum

    Share
    avatar
    myke
    Green
    Green

    Male Number of posts : 663
    Location : uk/scotland
    Registration date : 2008-04-30

    create your own forum

    Post by myke on Sun Jun 13, 2010 10:08 pm

    Rite ok, so you want to open your very own forum, well allow me to explain a few facts about forums to you.....
    .
    :- Forums are any of a number of places that spontaneously burst into flames.
    For some reason people enjoy congregating around these hot flames and contribute something know as a "post", which is a unit of measurement equal to five gallons of petrol.
    Posters end up being extremely stupid because of brain damage from excess heat and burns.

    :- The official languages of modern forums are leet and Stupid English.
    .
    Forums have existed for as long as people could speak, but they have changed radically from their humble prehistoric beginnings.
    .
    :- Forums are made up of staff and members...
    Fist, the owner..
    A faceless administrator who owns the forum. They only ever post in the locked announcements forum and ban people.
    All that is known about them is that they make really bad choices for admins and mods.
    .
    Next, The Administrators...
    Ban-happy absolute dictators. They have a burning desire to kill everyone and everything, and somehow fail to kill trolls.
    Only wannabe moderators actually like them, the rest all get their topics locked and banned.
    .
    And, The Moderators...
    Same as the Administrator, but they are rarely seen. When they are, its usually during an arguement where they try to end all arguments by saying "You're both idiots, stop fighting!" This could even be on something like whether or not the moon exists.
    ( PS... the moon really does exist.)
    .
    And.... oh no!!! The N00b..
    Assumes that since he is new, no rules apply to him. They seem to think that its the law to use intentionally bad spelling.
    Often used as target practice by the owner,admin and the mods... ha!! n00bs make great targets.
    .
    :- The Intelligent Member...
    No such thing, their a myth thought up by forum owners to try and get people to join..
    hmmmmm!!? am I an intelligent member.... nah!! no chance..
    .
    So, anyway... So, you have decided that you want to be a figure of authority over other people; you have created your own forum! You have decided that because you are the administrator of a forum, people should start respecting you! (even though you probably have never respected anyone in your life, you ungrateful git) But you have come across a dillemma: You have installed the software, but you have no idea what to do! Well, you're in luck.... believe that if you want..
    .
    :- How to get members in your forum...
    .
    Post links to your forums everywhere! Log onto MSN, and constantly send links to everyone on your contacts list! Keep on doing this until they join! (Note: You may notice a lack of people online on your contacts list, but don't worry, they haven't blocked you, I'm sure its just their internet is down - forever!)
    .
    Go onto online newsgroups and spam links to your forum there! You'll get even more members if you post in newsgroups unrelated to the topic of your forum!
    Have you been mysteriously disallowed access or denied entry into the newsgroup? Don't worry, they haven't banned you, they've just shut down their mailing list so they can all move onto your forum and flood your board with lovely posts:- they love you really!!
    .
    Try publicising in the outside world! I'm sure the neighbours will love those spray-painted links to your forum that you put on the walls of their houses and cars..
    .
    :----- There, that should help you to get your forum started...

    13

      Current date/time is Tue Jun 27, 2017 6:32 pm