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    myke
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    scottish windows

    Post by myke on Thu Jun 12, 2008 2:32 pm

    oh no !!!! he's back again......
    .

    .
    finally... your never gonna believe this......... i finally found that damm " any " key on my keyboard.
    .

    .
    rite..... now where were we ?
    oh yeah, summit bout scotlands clan microsoft......
    .
    Originally called "Clan Mac Rho Saeftig" in the highlands of Scotland, they were always considered 'a bit off' by the other highland clans. While each clan had a unique form of tartan, Clan Mac Rho Saeftig had a wavy four-pane of four separate colours. They tried vainly to explain to their neighbouring clans that the four-pane was 52% more efficient to produce, and 23% more discernable in a battle, but the other clans would have none of this 'innovation'. It was noted that in battle, Clan Mac Rho Saeftig would often employ imaginary weapons, like a "+4 Sword of Wounding", or a "Ring of Feather Fall". Although these non-items did little to help their battle prowess, they did serve to give friend and foe alike the creeps and, as a result, they were usually left alone in battle. This led Mac Rho Saeftig to have a virtually undefeated record in battle (although their allies were often slaughtered to the last man). scratch
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    It was noted among various clans, especially the McLeods and Stewarts, that having Clan Mac Rho Saeftig on your side virtually assured you would lose (even if they didn't). The entire north Scottish alliance under William Wallace was founded on the premise that no clan would ever be forced to ally with the Mac Rho's. After failing to convince the Mac Rho's they were actually misplaced Britons, Wallace, ingeniously, kept them busy in a fruitless quest for the "Pool of Radiance", located somewhere in the "Vault of Drow". Although they never did find this pool, they did spend several decades in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. They eventually emerged emaciated, myopic, and with translucent skin.
    .
    As things eventually settled between Scotland and Britain, the near universal defeat of every Mac Rho Saeftig ally became somewhat of a moot point. Still the other clans never lost their urge to foist the Mac Rho's on some other peoples, (preferably the English). The American Revolution gave them the perfect idea. All the other clans banded together to convince the Mac Rho's that the "Holy Gem of Arathusla" was located in America, and the survival of all humanity depended on 'the four paned clan' of true Scottish blood finding this gem and then guarding it in America for all eternity (never to return). When asked (as the Mac Rho's were known to do) what this gem looked like, the holiest of the holiest said cryptically, "Er, it's white, with lightning shooting off its sides, and er, ah, it runs at a blazing fast 33 MHz.".
    .
    Thus, Clan Mac Rho Saeftig arrived on the shores of America. The Americans were smart, however, and violently opposed this exodus. The British, Scottish, and Canadians together fought the Americans in order to force them to take the Mac Rho's (lest they come back). This is the REAL reason for the War of 1812. The fighting eventually came to a stalemate, and the French came up the idea that the Mac Rho's settle in the (then) Spanish territory that later became Washington state. Despite their few numbers in the north west, the Spanish attacked the Mac Rho's in what would later be called the, "El Torrito/NT War of 2000". This is one of the few wars in which the Mac Rho's were actually attacked, and they also actually won. This stunning defeat of the Spanish by a band of myopic, outcast, albinos, only served to highlight the precariousness of the Spanish situation in the new world, and led to them being almost immediately being attacked by the Americans, Canadians, French, Russians, Yaqui, and a gang of stunted donkeys (burros). With the exception of the burros, the Spanish/Mexicans lost every war. (Some historians will tell you the Mexicans defeated the Alamo, while technically correct, they leave out that they gave the Texans an 'all you can eat buffet' and then overran the Alamo while everyone inside was stuck on the toilet.) Shocked
    .
    Eventually Clan Mac Rho Saeftig settled into their new life, and over time their name changed as is highlighted by this chart.
    .
    Clan Mac Rho Saeftig
    Clam MacDonalds Rues Saefty
    Clanging Macnittie's Rusty Surefit.
    CMRS^4
    Microsoft, Clam Bake ver 4.0 (build 2434)
    Clan Macrohard
    Clan Microsoft
    Microsoft
    Eventually through Manifest Destiny, the government of the United States arrived on the western shores of America. Remembering how much the British, Canadians, and Scottish kicked their asses over NOT wanting Microsoft back, the US decided that discretion is the better part of valour, and would just ignore Microsoft, (and hope they would go away........
    .
    God himself has spoken out saying "Scotland was a bloody terrible idea" and pointed out that Scots had invented many things of effin' significant use to the world all of them alcohol based. The fact that God was hammered on Whisky was not mentioned. God has now declared teh loch ness monster king of scotland. drunken
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    clan microsoft raver party ----->
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    more scottish culture to follow..........
    to follow what......... i'm no very sure yet.......
    scratch
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    clmmlv
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    Re: scottish windows

    Post by clmmlv on Fri Jun 13, 2008 1:57 am

    never seen that b4

    Jamez
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    Re: scottish windows

    Post by Jamez on Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:49 am

    well funny hey have you ever considered becoming a comedian lol!
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    myke
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    Re: scottish windows

    Post by myke on Fri Jun 13, 2008 3:04 pm

    scratch nah no thx jamez, sounds to much like hard work......
    plus......... microsoft would prob end up suing me..........
    Laughing
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    myke
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    Re: scottish windows

    Post by myke on Fri Jun 13, 2008 3:53 pm

    okay dokay,, now where was i, hmmmm ? scratch
    topic, topic, what is the topic ? damm, c'mon, ive got it written here someplace............
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    aha..... found it..... -->
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    blast, thats no it........
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    yabba dabba, got it..........
    rite, here we go.............
    speaking of the loch ness monster........... ( we were wernt we ? )
    well, we are now, so humph!!!!!!!
    nessie - the scottish windows emblem, also trained to eat Bill Gates on sight.....munch, munch.
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    proof nessie exists ----->
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    Common to the lochs of Scotland for many years has been the Nessie or Loch Ness Monster, a shy and retiring creature which only comes into public a few times a year when the smell of American Dollars is carried on the wind from tourist resorts. The monster eats only American Dollars and Euros, although it is also pleased to accept most major credit cards. Frequent visitors to Scotland can elect to feed the monster by Direct Debit, and make savings of up to 14 (pounds) a year. .
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    the other not so well known emblem of scottish windows, is the Haggis.
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    Teh Haggis... a small furred mammal called the Wild Haggis, with two legs shorter than the other to allow for running in circles around the hills on which they live. Haggis is rarely eaten outside Scotland because it contains a powerful cocktail of neurotoxins, hallucinogens and aphrodisiacs that only those of Scottish descent could hope to survive.
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    " The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is the day they make a vacuum cleaner "
    teh haggis, on microsoft. ( or was that Oscar Wilde ? )
    .
    Two pilots are flying their helicopter along when all of a sudden a thick blanket of fog appears out of knowhere. The pilot fly's to a nearby building and holds up a sign saying 'Where are we?'. A person in a nearby window writes on a piece of paper ' in a helicopter'. ( i dunno why i wrote that bit ) scratch
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    anywayz.. back to clan microhard microsoft........
    Clan Microsoft hit upon a great idea while having a discussion...........
    "It's too bad we couldn't make people so irritated that they'd throw their computers out of their windows," they mused. "It'd be their own fault, and they'd have to buy a new unit complete with software once they came back to their senses."
    .
    more on windows scottish edition laterz...... gotta close the windows.. Laughing
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    Todays Tip... ( scottish windows ) " scottish windies "
    If you make a typing error, use the backspace to replace the "wrang yin" ~ Note: Tippex is hard to clean off the monitor !
    " wrang yin " = wrong one. <--- english translation. ( see scottish to english translations ) scratch
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    myke
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    Re: scottish windows

    Post by myke on Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:32 am


    .
    windies. the scottish edition.
    (oh hey, have you ever been to scotland ?
    It certainly is an experience... Initially one may find great admiration for the beautiful landscape and scenery. Imposing hills, smoothly flowing streams, forests teeming with life. Then it rains. It rains and rains and sodding bloody rains. It rains in the morning, it rains in the night. It rains through summer and winter, only to be abated in the coldest months by onslaughts of snow and hail. And then it rains some more. In the slight intervals between downpours, one only finds solace in the local biting insects, yeah, the dreaded midge's.)
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    oh !!!!, and..............
    The common tongue in Scotland is English. It was necessary, however, to develop a secret language for plotting against the English during their occupation of Scotland during the middle ages. Therefore Gaelic was developed. A language so grand and deliciously pleasant on the ears.
    The language was so compelling in its nature, so romantic in its vividly conjured imagery, so incredibly intelligent in its phonetics, that it was immediately adopted as the country's national language. A great celebration was held in its honor............ Then, people tried to actually learn it.
    The whole thing never stood a chance. English was reinstated and the Gaelic language was reduced to mere myth. Just speak English, its a lot easier.... and throw in some slang words like....gies a pint o yon foamin ale.
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    rite, now whar wiz i ( now where was i )
    wait, i'l just have a wee look up at the top to see what the topic was bout....... brb.
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    aye, got it.......... windies the scottish edition.
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    some changes to windies vista scotland.........
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    The "Recycle Bin"
    has been renamed something more fitting: --->
    .
    .
    The traditional "Start" button
    has been replaced with a more familiar term: ---->
    .
    .
    If ye dinna ken how tae dae somethin' the "Help" facility
    has been replaced with a more friendly version: ---->
    .
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    An' "C:\ drive" (whit's that then ?),
    is now called something a wee bit mair appropriate: --->
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    ( hidden subliminal message ) -------->
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    oh, and in conjunction with the konnect rules about advertising..........
    there are no hidden subliminal messages in this post, if you see any, your halucinating, see a doctor.
    or lay off the vodka an iron-bru. drunken
    .
    teh " law "...... lunatics at work. a dot network of lunatics.
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    Bretteo
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    Re: scottish windows

    Post by Bretteo on Mon Jun 16, 2008 12:52 am



    lol! second from last 1 Laughing

    nice work there mikey-d you always manage to keep me entertained for a few mins Wink
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    myke
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    Re: scottish windows

    Post by myke on Mon Jun 16, 2008 12:45 pm

    not any more though, your to busy in your other forums to be active in the one you made.
    so, i'm finished here. someone else can have my admin job.
    bye guys, have fun.
    and if anyone needs a lunatic in a forum, gimme a shout.
    " buzznzoom@msn.com "
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    Bretteo
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    Re: scottish windows

    Post by Bretteo on Mon Jun 16, 2008 8:11 pm

    WTF i been on them forums for like 4 days mate, check the join date Wink also i only posted on them for 2 days WHILE i was advertising there tring to get memberes HERE!

    Jamez
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    Re: scottish windows

    Post by Jamez on Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:29 am

    noooo dont leave mikey d who gonna ,ake us laugh Shocked
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    Bretteo
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    Re: scottish windows

    Post by Bretteo on Tue Jun 17, 2008 10:38 pm

    He aint leaving Very Happy well he better not or there will be trouble ! lol!
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    myke
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    Re: scottish windows

    Post by myke on Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:00 pm

    Very Happy i cant afford to leave, who's gonna keep you lot in order if i went. jeez someones gotta keep you youngsters out of trouble.

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